Inky Blood and Hollow Bones



      i am GOD.

      TANTO NOMINI NULLUM PAR ELOGIUM

wolfeyes555 asked: Not really one for slut scout (sorry ><) but if you could write some fluffy Magic Missiles that'd be great

markingatlightspeed:

(Don’t be sorry!  This isn’t a slut scout only thing!  I just wanted to encourage it ‘cause I never have any ideas, lol.)

"Soldier."

"Yeah?"

"What in all nine hells are you doing?" Merasmus asked, peeking inside the bathroom to see his lover bent over the claw-foot tub, shirt missing and a thudding, chittering, furious commotion coming from inside the porcelain vessel.

"Lieutenant Bites got into some of your stuff, so I’m trying to give him a bath," Soldier explained, smiling up to the wizard.

The raccoon made his move. Slipping out of the mercenary’s grasp in his moment of distraction, Lieutenant Bites clawed his way up Soldier’s arms and chest, climbing up to his shoulder to scrabble angrily at his helmet before leaping off and darting between Merasmus’ legs, trailing technicolour water drops behind him. The poor rodent itself was a garish mix of colours, like his fur had been tye-dyed and then glitter-bombed, a few patches of grey beginning to show through again where Soldier had been able to scrub at him.

Merasmus turned to watch the raccoon disappear out down the hallway and careen through the castle, a concerned half-smirk tugging at his lip. It was funny, he had to admit, though he knew he’d have to clean up the mess. Turning back to Soldier, who sucked idly at his bleeding hand, he sighed. “What did I say about letting him near my reagents?”

"Don’t let him near your reagents."

"Then what happened."

"I let him near your reagents."

"Soldier."

"I can’t disobey a commanding officer, Merasmus!" Soldier pleaded, tugging his helmet from his head to give his lover his best puppy eyes.

Merasmus sighed. “For the last time, in this castle, I outrank that raccoon! Now come on, let’s get you patched up and go find him before he stains everything we own.”

"Will you kiss me and make me better?"

"Only if you’re good."

imaginesoldier:

Imagine Soldier at a petting zoo. After pushing past many children to pet and feed every animal he tears down all the fencing and frees them all.

liamspeters:

chrislywumbo:

srsly best cup cover i’ve watched yet

HIS REACTION THO

(Source: an-averagegirl, via john-egberts-floating-arms)

racethewind10:

kayryn:

draelogor:

darkchocolateandtea:

fuckingconversations:

teamfreekickass:

spiffypop:

thebraveandmischievous:

housetohalf:

mysnarkasm:

When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.

She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.

She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.

Girl is 50 years old.

FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.

fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this. 

You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half. 

Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium. 

This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks. 

Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS. 

she kicks ass like a coursing river

with all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of a raging fire

As adorable as the dark side of the moooooooon

(via ulquicifer)

thefarfire:

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

shaneaniguns:

pilgrimkitty:

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

galetheasiangirl:

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

Made rebloggable by request. 

Honestly, people just need to stop overshipping.

Interesting fact: No, they don’t. 

People can ship just as much as they want, and who they want. They can ship a completely non-canon pairing, and ship it to the ends of the earth. Or, they can ship nothing. They can write fanfiction, or draw fanart, or they can write analytic essays detailing points within a canon, to justify why they ship what they ship. People can disagree with what is considered canon, and they can find subtext in places where there is none. They can discuss, joke, tease, laugh, and argue their ships with other like minded people. 

But do you know what people do just need to stop doing? Sending hateful anonymous messages about things that have no effect on them in any way, shape, or form. And this goes for each end of the shipping spectrum. I don’t go into someone’s ask box, berating them for not shipping something. What right do they have, coming into mine, doing the same thing because I do? 

This one here? Is possibly the most polite ‘hate anon’ I’ve ever received about johnlock. Most get deleted, because I don’t like to subject my followers to homophobic slurs and bigotry. 

Literary critics have been talking about the homoerotic subtext between Watson and Holmes since before the phrase “homoerotic subtext” existed.

I’ve had professors discuss it in no less than 3 university English classes.

Holmes/Watson is one of the first two widely regarded slash ships. Spock/Kirk being the second.

Shipping Holmes/Watson is not new. It was not created by the “Sherlock” fandom. It’s been around for a century.

Let’s put it this way. I went to a homophobic, conservative Christian high school. And my Baptist English teacher remarked on the homoerotic subtext between Holmes and Watson. Granted, he mentioned it as something negative, but he still mentioned it.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THE SHIPPERS MADE UP.

still people need to stop bashing every fucking female character because they “get in the way”. Watson gets married, get over it. Holmes isn’t interested in sex, get over it. The Holmes/Watson relationship is PURELY platonic, get over it. And stop harassing people over a stupid ship.

Where am I, even once, bashing a female character for ‘getting in the way’?

As for the last bit of your response, apparently your missed the entire point of this post. In which I was defending myself against being harassed. In which this is not the first time it has happened. In which it is possible to counter probably every single argument a person could make against there being a non-platonic relationship between the characters. And not from made up fanon, or girlish squeals, but from educated, intelligent understanding of the source work.

Too important not to reblog.

Key message: we all have choices- hate or no hate. I know which camp I’d rather be in.

(via muffin-tree)

jaclcfrost:

never-make-me:

jaclcfrost:

"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression

"I’m not sad" I say sadly with a sad expression

"i’m not jealous" i say, with strong emphasis on the word jealous, following it with a forced laugh to show how not jealous i am

(via muffin-tree)

kardashy:

maybe the best vine ever

(via yeahdragon)